Actress Demi Moore, who recently ended her six-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher, says her worst fear is finding she is “not worthy of being loved”.
In an interview conducted just one week after Moore filed for divorce in November, the “Ghost” star opened up to her friend, British photographer Amanda De Cadenet, for the February edition of Harper’s Bazaar magazine.
Moore, 49, did not directly address her split with Kutcher, the 33-year-old star of television comedy “Two and A Half Men.” The marriage foundered after a San Diego woman went public about a brief fling she had with Kutcher.
But in a wide-ranging conversation with De Cadenet about insecurities, Moore said; “What scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me…and that I wasn’t wanted here in the first place.”
The marriage was Moore’s third, and the 16-year age difference between her and Kutcher made them the subject of constant media attention.
Moore added that freedom for her meant, “Letting go of the outcome. Truly being in the moment. Not reflecting on the past. Not projecting into the future. That’s freedom. Not caring more about what other people think than what you think. That’s freedom.
“To not be defined by your wounds. Somebody wrote something to me that said, ‘Don’t let your wounds make you become someone you’re not.’ That’s really powerful. And not taking life too seriously,” she told De Cadenet.
The actress, who has recently lost weight and alarmed media by her thin appearance, also said she has had a “love-hate” relationship with her body but that now she accepted it.
“When I’m at the greatest odds with my body, it’s usually because I feel my body’s betraying me, whether that’s been in the past, struggling with my weight and feeling that I couldn’t eat what I wanted to eat, or that I couldn’t get my body to do what I wanted it to do.
“I think I sit today in a place of greater acceptance of my body, and that includes not just my weight but all of the things that come with your changing body as you age to now experiencing my body as extremely thin — thin in a way that I never imagined somebody would be saying to me, “You’re too thin, and you don’t look good.”
Moore and De Cadenet are executive producers of a new TV interview series called “The Conversation” that is due to premiere on cable channel Lifetime later in 2012.
