Celebrity Mound

Joan Rivers earned the ire of female poker players when she went off on pro player Annie Duke on “Celebrity Apprentice” last week. Rivers, upset that Duke and Brande Roderick had conspired to boot daughter Melissa out of the show, screamed at Duke, “Poker players are trash, darling! Trash!” before calling her a “Nazi.” Rivers, who’s been receiving loads of irate e-mails, called us and said, “Oh, calm down! I said it about one person. How can I hate poker players? Did you ever look at the cards? Everyone knows I love queens. Poker playing is a very noble profession. A little-known fact is Florence Nightingale had to choose between nursing and cards.”

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Joan Rivers was a victim of the media the other day at Doubles, the downstairs club at the Sherry-Netherland. She arrived at a luncheon hosted by Mayor Bloomberg’s gal pal Diana Taylor and Cristina Ferrare in honor of Katie Couric and was promptly knocked over by a photographer, who apologized profusely and kissed her hand. At different tables were Candice Bergen, Diandra Douglas, Janna Bullock, Rex Reed and Polly Bergen. Rivers laughed the tumble off and told the club’s Wendy Carduner she just got a rescued Havanese named Sammy to replace her beloved Spike, who’s in heaven.

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The duo did their comedic routine for myhollywood.com on Sunday for the Emmys, and AOL was supposed to link to a chunk of it. But their segment was booted when AOL suits thought it was too offensive. In the routine, Joan cited the trend of men with “hair from the Third Reich. Tom Hanks – does that scream Nazi Germany? And . . . Julia Louis-Dreyfus – luckily she waxed her mustache. I know one of her neighbors, and if she leaves it for two or three weeks she looks just like Hitler . . . Heidi Klum? Super Nazi!” Joan also referred to Eva Longoria-Parker as “Eva Longoria Porker” and ridiculed Oprah’s big “ass.” Joan told us, “I was shocked that the suits at AOL have no humor . . . But that’s OK. I’ve been gagged more times than Linda Lovelace. AOL is like Holocaust deniers. They want us to believe 6 million Jews spent World War II in Boca and Anne Frank was in an attic for two years looking for Christmas ornaments.” AOL didn’t return our e-mails.

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Joan Rivers’ salty tongue got her booted from a British daytime talk show in the middle of its live broadcast.

Rivers used two expletives while talking about Russell Crowe as a guest host on the live gab-fest “Loose Women.” She was asked to leave during a commercial break.

The 75-year old comedian said in a statement Tuesday she was sorry for the swearing, and assumed that a censor would be able to “bleep” the words out.

Then she cracked wise, saying the incident reminded her of her wedding night – because she was asked to leave in the middle of that, too.

JOAN and Melissa Rivers’ Red Carpet Report on AOL, with more than 1.4 million hits in its first four hours, was the second-most watched program on AOL the day after the Academy Awards. While everyone else’s red-carpet numbers were down significantly, including Ryan Seacrest on E! and Lisa Rinna and Joey Fatone on TV Guide, AOL set a new record with mother and daughter Rivers. “The Internet superhighway is now covered in red carpet,” said Rivers, “and with my luck, my new contract will also have me vacuuming it.”

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