Joan Rivers earned the ire of female poker players when she went off on pro player Annie Duke on “Celebrity Apprentice” last week. Rivers, upset that Duke and Brande Roderick had conspired to boot daughter Melissa out of the show, screamed at Duke, “Poker players are trash, darling! Trash!” before calling her a “Nazi.” Rivers, who’s been receiving loads of irate e-mails, called us and said, “Oh, calm down! I said it about one person. How can I hate poker players? Did you ever look at the cards? Everyone knows I love queens. Poker playing is a very noble profession. A little-known fact is Florence Nightingale had to choose between nursing and cards.”

(source)

 

Celebrity Apprentice, premiering on NBC Sunday March 1st. Get ready for the train wreck to begin as this year promises even more craziness than last season!

Joan Rivers will do ANYTHING to win
Joan’s tells us why she’s the toughest contender on this year’s train wreck (she gets a prostate exam once a year)

Annie Duke and Joan Rivers – the next Piers and Omarosa?
Annie puts all her cards on the table and shows just how far she’s willing to go for a win

Andrew Dice Clay: The biggest stand-up comic in history?
Dice makes history as the first contestant to complain to the Donald in the first episode, but what’s it over exactly?

 

Joan Rivers was a victim of the media the other day at Doubles, the downstairs club at the Sherry-Netherland. She arrived at a luncheon hosted by Mayor Bloomberg’s gal pal Diana Taylor and Cristina Ferrare in honor of Katie Couric and was promptly knocked over by a photographer, who apologized profusely and kissed her hand. At different tables were Candice Bergen, Diandra Douglas, Janna Bullock, Rex Reed and Polly Bergen. Rivers laughed the tumble off and told the club’s Wendy Carduner she just got a rescued Havanese named Sammy to replace her beloved Spike, who’s in heaven.

(source)

 

BLABBERMOUTH Joan Rivers may have ruined the end of the latest edition of “Celebrity Apprentice” before the first episode even airs. Rivers and daughter Melissa are among the celebs appearing on NBC’s Donald Trump-hosted competition this season. Appearing on Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show last week, Rivers claimed Melissa makes it “right to the end,” before catching herself. “Ugh! I’m not supposed to say that,” Rivers whined as Stern and Robin Quivers cackled. Until that moment, Rivers refused even to talk about who else was in the cast, citing a confidentiality agreement that “NBC made us all sign.” Stern would have none of it and read a list of her co-stars, including Tom Green, Jesse James, Chloe Kardashian, Andrew Dice Clay, Brian McKnight and Brande Roderick. “Celebrity Apprentice,” filmed mostly this fall, is to debut in January. The live finale takes place next spring.

(source)

 

The duo did their comedic routine for myhollywood.com on Sunday for the Emmys, and AOL was supposed to link to a chunk of it. But their segment was booted when AOL suits thought it was too offensive. In the routine, Joan cited the trend of men with “hair from the Third Reich. Tom Hanks – does that scream Nazi Germany? And . . . Julia Louis-Dreyfus – luckily she waxed her mustache. I know one of her neighbors, and if she leaves it for two or three weeks she looks just like Hitler . . . Heidi Klum? Super Nazi!” Joan also referred to Eva Longoria-Parker as “Eva Longoria Porker” and ridiculed Oprah’s big “ass.” Joan told us, “I was shocked that the suits at AOL have no humor . . . But that’s OK. I’ve been gagged more times than Linda Lovelace. AOL is like Holocaust deniers. They want us to believe 6 million Jews spent World War II in Boca and Anne Frank was in an attic for two years looking for Christmas ornaments.” AOL didn’t return our e-mails.

(source)

 

Comedienne Joan Rivers has found a new target for her hard-hitting gags — Hollywood superstar and Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie.

The sharp-tongued Rivers dished to reporters during an interview with GMTV, “Well, I’ve worked with stupid actresses — I’ve worked with Angelina Jolie — she saw a sign that said ‘WET FLOOR’ one time, and she did!” Rivers adds, “I mean, she’s attractive, but not a bright girl — stunningly beautiful, but stupid.”

Rivers made headlines in June after expelling a potty-mouthed rant about actor Russell Crowe — and getting the boot from British TV!

(source)

 

Joan Rivers’ salty tongue got her booted from a British daytime talk show in the middle of its live broadcast.

Rivers used two expletives while talking about Russell Crowe as a guest host on the live gab-fest “Loose Women.” She was asked to leave during a commercial break.

The 75-year old comedian said in a statement Tuesday she was sorry for the swearing, and assumed that a censor would be able to “bleep” the words out.

Then she cracked wise, saying the incident reminded her of her wedding night – because she was asked to leave in the middle of that, too.

 

On today’s edition of ‘The Martha Stewart Show’, the hilarious Joan Rivers joined Martha in the kitchen to help viewers get ready for Passover dinner. The pair turned traditional matzo, a Passover staple, into a sweet treat by coating it with chocolate, nuts and dried fruit. Joan joked, “Three holidays that you’re supposed to have fun on as a Jew – one is Chanukah; one is Passover; and one is the SAKS sale.”

Joan Rivers on matzo and aging:

JR: Can I just say – every time I see matzo it reminds me of my chest. Flat and brown spots.

MS: Joan! I don’t know when women start to make fun of themselves…I wouldn’t talk about that stuff EVER!

JR: But your body’s in better shape. You were a model, bitch.

Joan Rivers on her upcoming trip to China:

MS: Why are you going to China?

JR: Again, a mistake. Olivia Newton-John called me and she said, ‘This is for breast cancer, would you like to walk the great wall?’…I thought she said ‘Walk the great mall,’ and I said, ‘You got it!’

MS: Did you learn any Chinese?

JR: Yes, I learned one phrase – ‘I am single. Are you?’ I also think it’s important to learn, ‘Where is Gucci?’

Joan Rivers on her love for sweets:

MS: You like sweets?

JR: Look at my ass.

Joan Rivers on the chocolate matzo:

JR: Moses would have loved this!

Joan Rivers on her matzo house:

MS: Are they [the audience] laughing at your gingerbread roof?

JR: Yes! They’re laughing and I’m not even naked!

MS: I’ve made one side of my little roof, and it’s very neat and perfect.

JR: And I’ve done mine free form. I think of myself as a modern artist.

credit: Anders Krusberg/The Martha Stewart Show

 

JOAN and Melissa Rivers’ Red Carpet Report on AOL, with more than 1.4 million hits in its first four hours, was the second-most watched program on AOL the day after the Academy Awards. While everyone else’s red-carpet numbers were down significantly, including Ryan Seacrest on E! and Lisa Rinna and Joey Fatone on TV Guide, AOL set a new record with mother and daughter Rivers. “The Internet superhighway is now covered in red carpet,” said Rivers, “and with my luck, my new contract will also have me vacuuming it.”

(source)

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