Cancer-stricken Farrah Fawcett is suffering so much her longtime love, Ryan O’Neal, sometimes wishes she would go to sleep peacefully and not wake up.
“I feel like crying, I’ll tell you that, when I look at her sometimes,” he said in a heart-wrenching interview that aired Thursday on NBC’s “Today” show.
“I kind of wish that she would go to sleep, just go to sleep. It’s not my right, but I just don’t see how she could be happy.”
Despite those feelings, the 68-year-old actor said he’s only “semi” prepared to let Fawcett’s ferocious battle against anal cancer end.
“I let her go weeks and weeks ago, but she came back,” he said of his partner’s touch-and-go condition.
“I keep promising to take her to Italy. She said ‘I’ll drive,’” he recalled with a smile. “I don’t think there will be a trip to Italy, though.”
O’Neal told the Daily News he will wake the heavily sedated “Charlie’s Angels” star Friday night so they can watch her two-hour documentary, “Farrah’s Story,” on NBC at 9 p.m.
Tears flowed Wednesday night when stars turned out to see the premiere screening of the film and support an icon whose beauty defined a decade and whose strength is defining her final chapter.
“Cancer is my own private war. The strain, the nausea, the fever take turns challenging my strength, my mind and my spirit,” Fawcett says in the intimate video diary.
In her quest to survive, Fawcett has endured chemotherapy, radiation, radioactive isotopes, lasers, tumor embolization and multiple surgeries.
“I won’t surrender. I want to live,” she’s seen saying to a doctor in Germany, where she received treatments not available in the U.S.
In some of the most heartbreaking scenes, Fawcett allows herself rare moments where she contemplates death.
“For Redmond, my boy, I will always be there. When you are so very young, I will be there. When you fall, I will be there,” she said, tearfully reading from a letter to her son with O’Neal.
“When one day, you wake up and realize that I am gone, I will still be there, always. Always with you, forever in you, Redmond, my boy.”
Redmond O’Neal is in jail for violating drug and DUI probation. In scene shot last month, he appeared at Farrah’s bedside during a court-sanctioned visit and climbed into bed with her, trying to hide his leg shackles.
Even before it aired, the documentary spawned a legal dispute, with a producer claiming he was cut out of the project and threatened by O’Neal, according to TMZ.com.
A spokesman for Fawcett and O’Neal called the suit “horrific.”
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