Celebrity Mound

“Girls Gone Wild” producer Joe Francis was talking tough about his nemesis, Brody Jenner, on the red carpet at Bardot in Hollywood the other night. “If I see Brody Jenner, he is dead,” Francis said, and charmingly added that Jenner has the “smallest penis I have ever seen.”

But Francis — who brawled with the star of “The Hills” at an LA bar recently — didn’t expect to come face to face with Jenner and four strapping friends moments later inside the Star magazine party. A spy reports, “Brody’s boys stood up as soon as they saw Joe. Lo Bosworth told them all to calm down and not do anything crazy. Brody and his pals walked out giving Francis dirty looks. Francis stood there with his tail between his legs. He looked scared [bleep]less.”

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Joe Francis Slams Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole

Joe Francis and Brody Jenner were embroiled in a club fight at Hollywood hotspot Guys last Thursday in which Jenner claims Francis beat his girlfriend. The fisticuffs ended with Jenner being tasered, and authorities are investigating the situation.

Pop Tarts caught up with the “Girls Gone Wild” creator to get his side of the story.

“I am the victim of a crime and I have bigger fish to fry. I’m dealing with some idiot, some club rat in Hollywood, and this is ridiculous because I’m a million times above this,” Francis told Pop Tarts. “All that I’m saying is that I’m 100 percent confident that I will come out completely clean on this, and we have been in contact with the police … and I’m fine. I’ve got scratches and bruises but there is no excuse for something like this. It was an unprovoked attack by two losers.”

This isn’t the first time Jenner and Francis have butted heads. Earlier this year, the two had another heated exchange at club MyHouse.

“It was another unprovoked attack. It was so interesting because in that attack, Jayde punches Abbey Wilson, her new best friend, who was the girl by her side that she went to rescue, who was my girlfriend at the time,” Francis said. “I don’t know who Jayde is, I’ve never talked to that girl. I’m so above these people.”

He does, however, seem to have heard a thing or two about Brody Jenner’s, um, Jenner Jr.

“Take a highlighter, put your fingers around that, and take half of it,” Francis said, mentioning two former “Laguna Beach” stars who could vouch for his assertion.

Taking a higher road for a moment, Francis said he’s more concerned about the flames ravaging his town.

“It’s just so stupid. LA is about to burn to down and people give a crap about this? I’m concerned about people’s houses and these fires,” he added. “If you watch these fires coming over the hills, that’s where my concern is. Not Brody on ‘The Hills,’ the kid is a loose cannon.”

Reps for Jenner and Nicole did not respond to repeated requests for comment.

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“GIRLS Gone Wild” tycoon Joe Francis was nursing a swollen jaw yesterday after a barroom brawl with reality TV star Brody Jenner and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, at the Guys & Dolls Lounge in Los Angeles.

“I’m going to the police to file assault charges,” Francis told Page Six yesterday. “The whole incident is on videotape. I’m the victim here. They will not get away with it.”

Francis said he was at the hot spot Thursday night talking to an ex-girlfriend when Nicole — the Playboy 2008 Playmate of the Year for 2008, best known for having the word “Respect” tattooed below her bikini line — turned violent.

“She comes up behind me, pushes me, and then dumps a glass of champagne on me, so I reached around and grabbed her hair,” Francis told Page Six.

Earlier, Jenner told TMZ that Francis punched Nicole in the face, threw her to the floor and started kicking her. And Nicole said she plans to file charges against Francis.

But Francis says, “These guys are complete liars.” When Jenner ripped his shirt off and knocked him down, “I went into a submissive ball. I covered my face and let the whole thing subside.”

Francis said Jenner — who’s appeared in “The Princes of Malibu,” “The Hills” and “Bromance” — was thrown out of the club by security men, and he left shortly after.

Then, “I was outside smoking a cigarette waiting for my driver,” Francis said. “The next thing I know, I’m waking up on the ground. Brody cold-cocked me.” Guards reportedly Tasered Jenner to subdue him.

A witness corroborated Francis’ account. “I didn’t actually see Francis punch her,” the bystander, a woman, said. “She definitely threw a drink on him and shoved him, and then he turned around and started pulling her hair. The next thing I knew, he was on the floor and there were a crowd of people around. It was chaos.”

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